Oprah changed my life.
There I was – about to walk into the apartment where I lived with my girlfriend (now my wife) and my old sister. 4 years earlier, we lost the house that I lived in to the Cedar Fire in San Diego (2003). I was desperate to find a place to call home, so my girlfriend and I moved in with my sister. 600 sq, 2 bedrooms. I had to pay rent. For the first time in my life, I had bills. I was going to college, working full time, and still had zero money to take my girlfriend out. Like – not even pizza date nights in. Cents – I had cents in my bank account. It was so bad, I knew that I could go shopping on Sunday late afternoons, and so long as my paycheck was on time on Monday morning, and I took my lunch break to go cash my check, I would be able to afford those groceries without an overdraft fee.
I was tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally. The fire threw me back more than I ever could have dreamed. No money – actually flunked out of college, spent 2 years at a JC just to get back – and had no idea what I wanted to do for the future.
There I was – the key was in the lock, I turned in, and walked in at 4p on a random day during the week. My girlfriend was sitting on the couch watching Oprah. She had an early job that allowed her to get home by 3 or 330 (I was always jealous of that). I set my backpack down and walked into the kitchen to hopefully find some food to eat. And then I heard it:
Once you discover The Secret, you can immediately start making the life that you want. Whether it is getting out of debt, whether it is finding a more fulfilling job, even falling in love, you can have it all.
My ears perked up. I finished making my Top Ramen (the best cheap thing you can eat at 4p before dinner) and I sat down next to my wife. And story after story, people talked about how this “Secret” changed their life. They had more money. They have more time. They had more freedom. I had to know what this Secret was.
That episode had me enthralled. I went down to my latest book store, found the book, and DID NOT buy it because it was $19.95 – and I definitely did not have that sort of money. So I waited till it went on sale and bought it for $12.95 (still a stretch).
I inhaled that book. I instantly put it into practice and started seeing the effects. I got a random raise at work. The school was easier. I purchased a new car. My girlfriend and I upgraded where we lived. Live was SOARING during this book.
The biggest thing this book did was put me on a path of self-development. And it has changed the trajectory of my life.
So why tell you that story?
Because the Law of Attraction, which The Secret preaches, was an instrumental tool in my journey to quit drinking. And it can be for you too.
The Law of Attraction & Recovery
I have a real problem with AA. While I do think it works for some, the notion that you have to stand up and DECLARE that you are an alcoholic, then spend every day (one day at a time) fighting your ‘disease’ seems like a waste of time.
Our words, thoughts, and beliefs dictate our life.
Read that one more time, please.
OUR WORDS, THOUGHTS, AND BELIEFS DICTATE OUR LIFE.
So if you walk around thinking you are an alcoholic, guess what you are going to be?
If you walk around saying “I am just one drink away from being an alcoholic again”, guess what you are waiting for?
What if – just what if – you believed that you were sober. You watched what sober people do, and you mimicked that? You BELIEVED you were sober. What would you be then?
Yes, it is easier to call yourself an alcoholic and fight it every day. But where is the enjoyment in life with that?
What if you could BELIEVE that you were sober, and that you are a non-drinker, and that you could become ‘spontaneously sober’ as Annie Grace puts it?
What would you rather do?
I’ll tell you what, I’d rather think I am sober vs. thinking I am an alcoholic.
And that is why I think your words matter when you approach quitting drinking.
Words Matter
How you talk to yourself is important. You shouldn’t have to battle anything in your life – including addiction. Yes – it is a battle – one of the hardest ones I know I ever experienced in my life. But that doesn’t mean you can use self-talk, words, believes, and other mindset mechanisms to make it easier.
I cut the word “alcoholic” out of my vocabulary. If throughout this site, you will very rarely see it used. In my early stages of quitting I used “heavy drinker”. Alcoholism is too negative. Then I started working on “light drinker”, then “non-drinker” – I even don’t like the word sober. Slowly but surely, my habits started to change based on my words. It started to become normal to hear myself talk about being a non-drinker, and soon after – it simply disappeared.
Now – this approach may not work for everyone. But I urge you to keep trying. Try everything. Keep believing that there is a way and that there is more for you to be, do and have. Start thinking of yourself as a sober person, instead of a recovering alcoholic. What activities would you do? How would you sleep at night? How would you wake up? How would you live? Embrace those feelings, not the feelings of forcing yourself and taking it ‘day by day’ not to drink.
Understand this approach won’t work for everyone – some people just can’t grasp it. But if you are searching for a positive way to quit your habit, instead of a negative – give this a shot. Read The Secret. Learn about the law from the attraction. Develop the habits and get yourself into the mindset of a non-drinker. This takes time, hard work, and a drastic change in your mindset. But I believe – to my core – that the work you do from this perspective, which is improving your mindset to look for positivity instead of negativity, will drastically not only change your drinking habits but change your life.
I know it did for me.
Thank you, Oprah.
